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Noel_Bo
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Name: Noel
Country: United States
State: Tennessee
Metro: Nashville
Birthday: 9/19/1977
Gender: Male
Interests: drums, guitar, singing, songwriting, anything having to do with coffee, cooking, gardening, snow skiing, baseball!!!, tennis, any fitness stuff (except aerobics), weight lifting, spur of the moment traveling, making memories, words, rappelling, knot tying, camping, being prepared for anything at all times, & I prefer "chick flicks" even though I'm an "Indiana Jones" wannabe!
Expertise: Expertise??? Well, I don't mean to brag and I don't mean to boast but I like a little jelly on my buttered-toast.... I'm a FUNKY drumma', I love the "craft" of songwriting, I'm studying interior design right now, I can tie a "round turn bowline with a yosemite tie off" with my eyes closed... not to mention a triple loop figure 8 with a double-fisherman stopper" knot!... anybody impressed???... anybody think I'm a dork!?????...
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
2/16/2006
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| Every day at my dad's office, we receive at least one junk-mail page on the fax machine. It's usually the same thing but this one was different so I thought I'd post it so you can enjoy too.
(please please please don't call them, Kaitlyn... I know you want to escape Canada for awhile, but this is not the way.)
Noel
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| Is there a doctor in the house?!
 I went for a yearly check-up at my doc a few days ago... Healthy as can be. I started thinking about the first sports physical I had back in 7th grade. I was scared to death because I knew that I would be required to "turn my head & cough." The nurse actually chuckled to herself when she checked my blood pressure because my heart was beating so fast. I just wanted him to get it over with because I couldn't take the anxiety. Then the moment arrived as he said in his 'I know you're dreading this' voice: "Alright, drop your drawers."
Can you imagine having a job as a doctor or nurse where you've seen & examined so many "private parts" that you've become numb to the sight & what it is you're actually doing to the patient? Part of a nurse's job requirements are bathing & caring for patients after their "digestive activities." I sit at a desk during the day & work on bankruptcy files where I see tax transcripts & look over people's private financial affairs. I can't imagine having a job where I actually scrub their "private affairs."
A doctor's role is maybe not as intimately personal as that of a nurse who works so closely with a patient's body & bodily functions. But as far as getting to know you better, nobody gets all up in yo' business like a doctor. The proctologist is a great example of someone who's job I do not covet. They are always the "butt" of all the jokes. The trust required between patient & doctor in any area of medicine is really incredible considering what some of the procedures are. For example, here's a basic description in layman's terms of the colonoscopy procedure & we sign up for these like it's as normal as pouring a glass of water:
"OK, here's how it's gonna work. We're gonna give you some stuff to make you sleep & believe me, sleeping is good because otherwise this would hurt like crap. OK, then you'll just lay on your side in your open-backed hospital gown. That way we'll have perfect access to your rear. Next, I'm gonna take this hose with a camera, a light, a sucker, an air blower, & some other gadgets at the end of it & stick it up your butt. Then I'm gonna take a look around your colon. We'll need to inject a good amount of air in there to puff it up---otherwise it'd be like trying to peek into a deflated animal balloon. By the way, you'll be asleep, but don't worry because I'll take a few pictures for you."
There's a lot of trust happening in that room between patient & doctor. And I won't even get into the trust that must happen between you ladies & your "lady doctors." Actually, I don't know what happens in those visits & I DON'T WANT to know. I'm thankful, so very thankful that I'm a man & that the extent of my sports physicals was always to simply "turn my head & cough."
In conclusion, America, hug your doctor & kiss your nurse.
As a bonus, I've compiled several statements you may THINK but not SAY to your nurse:
- Wow, you've seen more junk than a trash collector.
- Wow, you've seen more junk than a Goodwill Superstore.
- Wow, you've seen more sausage than Jimmy Dean.
- Wow, you've seen more wieners than an Oscar Meyer factory worker.
- Wow, you've seen more packages than UPS.
- Wow, you've seen more n-ts than a squirrel.
- Wow, you've seen more crown jewels than the Tower of London.
- Wow, you've seen more unusual formations than National Geographic.
- Wow, you've seen the insides of more cheeks than a dentist.
- Wow, you've seen more stalagmites than a caveman.
- Wow, you've seen more b--ls than a major league umpire.
- Wow, you've seen more meat & two veg's than a TV-dinner.
- Wow, you've seen more peninsulas than a spy-satellite.
- Wow, you've seen more submarines than Jacques Cousteau.
- Wow, you've seen more giblets than K.F.C.
And finally...
16. Wow,........Wow.
hahahahahaha,
Noel
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| Want to block Facebook ads (like those in my previous post)???? Here's how:
Instead of Internet explorer, I downloaded Mozilla Firefox earlier this year. It loads pages faster, it's more streamlined & simple (which is why it's faster), & you have more control with add-ons. One of these add ons is Ad-Block plus. It takes care of a lot of ads. The other one is Greasemonkey. That's the one you need for blocking facebook ads. After installing it, go to this link http://userstyles.org/styles/9405 & click the button "load as user script."
That's all you do!
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Here's Tiffany doing her Achmed the Dead Terrorist comedy routine for her church.
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